A few thoughts, memories, and reflections on six months of motherhood…
The first three months of Charlie’s life were drastically different than the next three. “Fourth trimester” is such a real thing!! Those first three months were characterized by sleep deprivation, healing, marvel at Charlie’s tininess, deep gratitude for our family and friends who visited us and cooked us dinners, seemingly constant feedings, and feeling completely at the mercy of Charlie’s schedule (or lack thereof). What comes to mind when I think of months three through six though are Charlie’s big smiles and belly laughs, all of the new skills he has learned (especially rolling over and sitting up), and how much Charlie feels like a real part of our family, not just like a little stranger we take care of. While I loved him from the second we found out about his existence, I’ve fallen SO much more in love with him the more I’ve gotten to know him. I don’t know if I had ever heard a mom say that happens before, so if you’re pregnant/a new mama, just keep this nugget in mind in case you find yourself feeling the same way :)
In a similar vein, had you asked me in October or November if I loved being a mom (a totally separate question than if I loved Charlie), I wouldn’t have been able to say yes honestly. That terrified me. What if I never loved being a mom, and was stuck with this new identity that didn’t quite feel like “me” forever? It has taken some time and a LOT of prayer, and it is still such a process, but now, I can honestly and truly say that I love being a mom.
One of the best parts of motherhood, and one I didn’t expect, was how much it has deepened my friendships. I’m a lifelong introvert, but from pregnancy onward, having a baby has opened the door for honesty, vulnerability, and the sweetest camaraderie. I’m so thankful to share the experience of motherhood with women I barely knew a year ago, but now can’t imagine doing life without. I hope that this only continues throughout my life as Charlie grows up!
Dave and I talk about this often…it’s so thrilling to think that Charlie is totally his own person. His personality is certainly showing more every day, and we love thinking about what he might be like five, ten years from now. What will his favorite foods be? His favorite subject in school? What will he and his friends like to do together? It’s so funny to think that something like baseball could be a HUGE part of our life in a few years, when we barely think about it now.
Y’all have seen pictures of my house–I like things clean and white and classic. I was adamantly against loud, brightly colored baby gear, and actually stood my ground pretty well…until about a month ago. Because here’s what I realized: Charlie isn’t a guest in this home. He’s part of the family. And just like our “Grand Sofa” makes my 6’3″ husband happy every time he sits down on it and our blue and white ginger jars and marble fireplace make me happy every time I see them, Charlie deserves things in our house that make him happy without fail too. Right now, that thing is a rainforest-themed jumperoo that lives smack dab in the middle of our living room and makes him light up and giggle like crazy every time we put him into it. Totally worth it.
Happy half-birthday, sweet baby boy. You are the most precious thing in the world to us!