It started, as life changes often do, with an ugly-cry-in-the-shower session.
Charlie was three months old and we had just returned from spending Christmas with my family on the other side of the country. My mom and I were having a tough time navigating her new role as a grandmother and mine as a mother—I lost track of how many times I spoke harshly to her. I felt isolated from my three younger siblings who were nowhere close to this wildly different season of life I was now in. I was back at work after maternity leave and it was not going well. I hadn’t seen any of my friends since our meal train ended.
Worst of all, I was convinced God had made a terrible mistake by giving me this beautiful child because I was far too weak and unworthy and selfish to be a good mother. Those lies pounded in my heart day in and day out. This massive responsibility of raising a child on top of all the other things I hoped to do well (used to do well) was too much. I couldn’t do it.
It was in the shower one day, where I had run for ten minutes of uninterrupted tears, when God gently pointed me in the right direction. You’re not the first person who has had to figure this out, He whispered to my heart. Look to my daughters who have done it well.
Friends, you can find the rest of this post about how I met, got to know, and learned how to be a mother from my beloved friend, St. Zelie Martin, on the Blessed Is She blog today. Sharing my experience of walking with her as I have learned (and continue to learn) to navigate my vocation has been on my heart for over a year, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to do so today…on her and her husband’s shared feast day, no less!
Here’s how we’re celebrating St. Zelie and St. Louis today!
Eat: Post-Mass croissants! I don’t know if the Martins ever actually ate croissants, but I like the idea that maybe they enjoyed them on Sunday afternoons as a family in the same way that many Americans enjoy post-church doughnuts ;) French + family-oriented are good enough reasons to me to enjoy croissants on this special day!
Adorn: I just framed the GORGEOUS watercolor of them, pictured above, by my sweet friend Ali of Saint Script. I had been searching for weeks for a beautiful image of them to no avail (since they’re so recently canonized, there aren’t many options out there yet). Then, Ali posted a sneak peek of this painting and I all but begged her to send me one before they were officially available to order so I could get it in time for today. Thank you, Ali!
I also can’t resist wearing lace today, since Zelie was an Alençon lacemaker. The ways she navigated motherhood and her own creative business pursuits was one of the first things I fell in love with about her.
Do you have a devotion to St. Zelie? I’d love to hear about it below so we can celebrate together! :)
The Mother of the Little Flower and The Father of the Little Flower (less than $5 each on Kindle!)
About St. Zelie and St. Louis
Calling on Heaven: The Feast of St. Zelie Martin (this post made me cry–so beautiful!)
The Holiness and Example of Sts. Louis and Zelie Martin
12 Things St. Zelie Taught Me About Sainthood as a Mother