Dave and I have been married for two years today! We often say that it feels like we’ve been married for much longer, and I think that may be because we’ve done a LOT since the day we walked down the aisle. The past two years have truly been a joyful whirlwind, and while many things have changed over these two years, many have stayed the same too.
Sometimes, when I see Dave smile, I get flashbacks to the first time I saw him. I was assigned to his group for a tour when he was an RA during our study abroad semester in Austria, and I had a little bit of a crush on him from day one. Sometimes, when he looks at me, I remember the way he was looking at me when I realized he was about to propose. I swear, I think my heart stopped for a second because spending my life with him was a dream come true. Sometimes, when we walk into our church on Sunday (the same church where we were married), it’s so easy for me to picture the altar flanked by the most beautiful dogwood branches, and my then-husband-to-be standing in front of them and locking eyes with me. I didn’t look at anyone but him when I walked down the aisle. Sometimes, when he reaches for my hand, it takes me back to standing in our empty reception venue, glancing at it one more time and taking a deep breath of gratitude before heading outside through the tunnel of sparklers in front of us. Sometimes, when I open my eyes in the morning and see the back of his head on the pillow next to me, I remember the sun streaming in through the window of our hotel room on our first day of marriage–my wedding dress spilling out of the closet in front of us and a jumble of bobby pins, jewelry, and a tie clip on the desk nearby.
Sometimes, though, I’m too exhausted or frustrated to laugh at his jokes, and I walk past him in a hurry, trying to get as much done as I can while Charlie naps, without even looking into his eyes. Sometimes, I’m too distracted by how late we are (again, and always my fault) or by how Charlie is acting as we hurry into church to think about the sweet sacrament we received there. Sometimes, we wake up after way-too-little sleep and our first words are “Whyyy are you awake” to Charlie instead of “Good morning, I love you” to each other. Marriage is hard sometimes, and marriage with a new baby is harder. And I didn’t expect that on May 2, 2015.
But, just like our wedding day created the most perfect snapshot memories of my best friend in the world, seeing him become a father has done the same thing…and that happens every day, not just on one day. There’s the time I told him “It’s positive” and then crumbled to the floor in shocked/nervous/happy/scared tears (no cute “you’re going to be a dad” reveal for us), while he grabbed me in the tightest hug and told me again and again that he was SO happy. There’s the day we found out our baby was a boy and all I could think about was that I hoped our son would be exactly like his daddy. There’s the hours Dave stood by my side while I was in labor and the way he looked at me when it was over and we had the most perfect, precious baby in our arms. There are all the mornings he gets up with Charlie so I can sleep for ten more minutes, the hundreds of cups of coffee he’s poured for me, and all the times he tells me I’m beautiful when my post-partum self feels anything but. I was madly in love with Dave Kirk the day I became his wife…but nothing has made me love him more than becoming parents together. And for that, I am so grateful.
Happy anniversary, my love! “You are everything to me, I give myself totally to you, forever.”